Yotel, Boatel, Holiday Inn…
June 15, 2012
…if your girl start acting up, then you take her friend.
That’s right… I’m back from my world tour of CT, NYC, ASPCA, NAACP and ISYIMD, TS-TS-TSA SWAK, Xs and Os - who knows what all of that means?
Not me that’s for sure. All I know for sure is that…
It’s good to be a Vulcan.
That’s right. I’ve returned to the ways of my Vulcan ancestors, the way I lived back before “the incident”. Today, once again, I attempt to live my life by reason and logic, without interference from emotions. Now, I know what you’re thinking… “You sure seem to have a lot of fun for a Vulcan?”
Of course, you are thinking this because… a) your entire education of my people and our culture came from watching Star Trek, which was, of course, a made for TV dramatization of what we’re really all about…. and 2) most people don’t realize that Vulcans have fun all the time…or at least we pretend to. It’s one of the ways that we interact with you humans, it’s how we get close to you and study you.
Another Vulcan myth is that we that do not drink alcoholic beverages, other than the occasional Vulcan Brandy – known here on Earth as Tequila. The truth is that alcoholic beverages have little affect on us but we do drink them on a regular basis anyway, particularly if we properly pair them with other beverages. This is why we, Vulcans, usually adhere to a very strict “beer, beer, tequila formula”.
I bet many of you are going… “ah… now it all makes sense”.
And you’ve probably figured this out by now but, the Margarita, which is based on Vulcan Brandy (tequila) is the most popular drink on our planet and present at most sporting events. That’s why, here on Earth, my Vulcan friends and I like to play Margarita golf…
I can sense a whole bunch of hate-mail coming from Trekkies in the near future.
That’s OK. It is what it is.
You’ll remember my words when I see you at Rumarie… (Look it up.)
La Manzana Grande
So, what I really wanted to talk about today was my recent visit to The Big Apple. In a last minute pinch for a place to stay, I ended up at the funkiest of funky Euro-wierd hotels… Yotel.
First of all, the whole thing was space age – perfect for a Vulcan, I know. For example, let’s say that it was checkout time but you needed them to hold on to your bags for a few extra hours. Well, no need to speak with anyone… Just give your bags to the Yobot…
Seriously. I can’t make this stuff up.
In fact, I heard they had a very hard time finding just the right robot for this job…
Next, the rooms are all referred to as “cabins” and the hotel’s front desk and central operation center is called Mission Control. When I was there, Mission Control was staffed by the a very efficient, courteous and “easy on the eyes” space alien named Yesenia. Seriously, she looked human but… Yesenia?
The one thing that I learned from my Yotel experience, however, was…
Don’t Use Booking.com
Their website is deceptive, they are liars and they lie!
When you book a hotel room on booking.com, it appears to be less money than other reservation websites. After all, it shows you the price, next to something that says, “total price for your stay”. Doesn’t it sound like that should be your total price?
Well, then you get an email that says something like… “oh, your total price doesn’t include your taxes or other fees that may be charged by the hotel”. Of course, they tell you that it’s all your fault for not reading the email they sent you.
I didn’t agree to have to read an email, did I?
All I saw was “total price”. I agreed to that. Then later it was hundreds more.
Then, later, I needed to check out a day early.
Yotel told me that I had to contact booking.com. No problem. When I talk to booking.com, they tell me that I can’t checkout a day early because Yotel will not allow changes to the reservation. Well, there I was standing at Mission Control, talking to Yesenia, who is telling me that just wasn’t true. Yotel just needed booking.com to issue a reservation modification code.
Booking.com – deceptive lying, liars – who lie. Do not use!
And I swear that I don’t have a gun
No, I don’t have a gun
Nirvana in Queens
No…not the band. Kurt is dead, rememeber?
I’ve discovered a little hippie nirvana, just minutes from the hustle and bustle of Manhattan at Marina 59 in Far Rockaway and it’s called Boatel. Got the idea yet? It’s a hotel/motel, at a marina, but the rooms are actually individual boats. Each of which was assigned to an artist for their personal touch, influence and decor.
Here’s a link to their website…
And here’s pretty good article about Boatel…
Boatel – Daily Mail Online UK
I know. My kind of place.
Now, when I say I’m going to NYC for a while, you guys will know where to find me.
And the place is filled with Hippie Chicks… Yeay!
I love it! I want to live there. Maybe I can be a snow bird?
Boatel NYC in the summer and Todos Santos in the winter.
Sign me up…
Also, speaking of getting in-touch with my inner-hippie self…
I’m never missing Bonnaroo again – never, ever, never.
They need me there. Don’t worry Roo people.
I will be there from now on – I promise.
I hate to run but… I gotta run.
Peace out, my brothas…