Archie Kobain

So, back in the days of Static, people used to comment on my various ramblings, mostly after the fact.  These days, I keep getting suggestions as to what I should write about.  Thus far, aside from being called a “borderline tea-bagger”, which I am really not, it has been suggested that I write about:

• Fuel Prices
• WikiLeaks.org
• Cell Phones with GPS and Location Privacy
• Bad Customer Service at AT&T and/or Comcast
• How Legalizing Drugs Would Solve All of Our Problems

What do I know about these thing?
I’m just a guy, trying to find something to eat in Tlacotalpan…

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 All our times have come
Here but now they’re gone
Seasons don’t fear the reaper
Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain
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[Thinks to himself: “Hmm…  That could use a little more cowbell.”]

Is the grizzly reaper mowing?

Here’s what I want to talk about…

Color Me “Unkindled”

Someone asked me the other day If I was going to get a Kindle.  I don’t think so. When I read a book, I want to smell the paper, bend the corners of the pages, and leave it open, face-down, lying around my house, so as to not lose my place.  Besides, on an airplane they make you turn off everything that has an off switch.  Guess what I do during that time? 

True. I haven’t seen a take-off in years because I fall asleep the moment I get settled into my seat on an airplane and don’t wake up until we’re at 10,000 feet – but what about when landing?  That’s when I do most of by book reading. 

But here’s the real reason that I’m never getting a Kindle:  It makes book reading look just like everything else…  Here’s what I mean.  In the not-too-distant past, “writing” looked like a guy with a pad of paper or maybe a guy using a typewritter. Today it looks like a guy using a laptop. Not too long ago, planning a trip required looking at some magazines, maps, and maybe calling a travel agent.  Today it looks like a guy using a laptop.  Not too long ago, paying bills involved paper bills and paper checks, you had to do some math and exercise your brain.  Today it looks like a guy using a laptop. Shopping once required that you go to a store, maybe a mall, where you would inadvertently have to interact with other humans.  Today, shopping looks a lot like someone using a laptop.  So when I read a book, I never want to have to charge my book or put batteries in it. I don’t want my book to generate any heat. I want to enjoy its colorful (or not) cover.  I want to know how much of a book I have left to read by looking at the thickness of the unread pages. If it’s really bad, I want to throw it across the room or maybe set it on fire.  I don’t care if there’s an app for that.  I don’t want reading a book to look like everything else.  So kill me some trees and I’ll see you at Off the Beaten Path.

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 One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.

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Ah, there are two other important things to talk about this week.

#1 – O-Marley Bin Dead Long

That’s right. Bob Marley’s been dead for 30 years now. 

Think anyone is going to give a rat’s ass about Bin Laden 30 years from now?

So in honor of the dearly departed Marley, here’s a treat. 
One of favorite performers from way back, Graham Parker,
performing No Woman, No Cry.  Enjoy..

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You have to do your best to come up to par,
From straight off the production line like a car,
‘Til everything you put on is a put-on,
And you don’t know who’s face you’re gazing upon

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 And my favorite story of the week – ONLY in FLORIDA, of course…
Please Read:  3 Accused in FL with Evil Spirit Cleansing Scam

How does this happen?

First, who is sitting at home thinking, “how do I get rid of these evil spirits?”
Then later, by a stroke of luck, you stumble across someone in that business.

Next, you decide to send them money. I’m thinking that most religious cleansing should be done at no charge…or maybe for 15% of your annual income…but hardly ever in return for a Rolex.  Of course, I’m only an apprentice at this religious cleansing thing. Maybe I’ll learn more after a few more Sunday schools.

But what happens next? Do you sit around waiting and then make a brilliant discovery,”hey… I sent those people money and the evil spirits are still here. I got ripped off. The whole thing was a fraud!”

Of course, they’re probably going to claim that it wasn’t a fraud and that they did actually cleanse their customers of said evil spirits.  We are still innocent until proven guilty, correct?  And we do still have freedom of religion, yes/no?

So the prosecutors should have to prove that Polly, Bridgitte, and Olivia took money from their customers but didn’t actually cleanse them of evil spirits.  They should have to bring one of the customers to the court room and show that their evil spirits are still present. But you know, I’ll bet you that some particularly nasty evil spirits required multiple treatments. And in the evil spirit business, there can’t be guarantees.  It could be like removing a computer virus.  You can get rid of one today and go right out and get yourself another one tomorrow.

Maybe, similar to anti-virus software, what you need is some sort of a continuous effort where you pay a monthly fee to be enrolled in an ongoing anti-evil spirit program…and if you don’t see results in 6 months, we’ll refund your money.  Thoughts?

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Hans plays with Lotte, Lotte plays with Jane
Jane plays with Willi, Willi is happy again
Suki plays with Leo, Sacha plays with Britt
Adolf builds a bonfire, Enrico plays with it

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Well, I probably shouldn’t be bloging and texting while sipping on a Dos Equis (amber)
and driving 86 miles an hour on I-75 through Alligator Alley. 
See you in the next life, wake me up for meals. 

Cheers.

– Arch