Archie Kobain

She’s got a camouflaged face and no money

Alrighty then, I know I pick on Barnsley a lot, but today I need to talk about his sheer genius.   Just the other day, we were in dire need of some champagne.  Of course, technically, to call champagne by that name (champagne), it needs to come from the champagne region of France.  Otherwise, you have to call it sparkling wine.  For example, all the bubbly from California is simply referred to as American Sparkling Wine.  The question is, what do you call Sparkling Sauvignon Blanc from New Zealand?

Well, just the other day, Barnsley brought home a bottle of Zeal, Sparkling Sauvignon Blanc (from Marlboro, of course)  and I say we call it awesome!

If you’ve been following along in the home version of our game, you might remember that I’m a big fan of New Zealand Sauvignon Blancs, but the sparkling version just threw this whole thing into a another level.

If I were you, I run out and get some immediately. And here’s the best part, it was delicious and only about $10. So if you decide to make mimosas, you wont be wasting the pricey stuff.  It’s genius.

[Yelling off stage:]
Barnsley!  Mimosas for everyone.

[Looks around:]
Barnsley?

Oh, Blue Jean…
 Is Heaven any sweeter than Blue Jean?

Sweeter?  I always thought of Heaven as being low calorie
yet – no Nutra Sweet required.

Alrighty then…  I’m back in California (again) this week.

Someone told me there’s a girl out there,
with love in her eyes and flowers in her hair…

And I gotta tell you, I’ve stayed at some pretty awesome places in my day, but my hotel room this week was over the top.  My room had two bathrooms.  There’s only one of me!  There’s a living  area, a dining room table, a giant private patio area…

Check out this shower head…

Nice?  I know.

And look it’s one of those bathrooms where there’s telephone next to the toilet…

How handy is that?
I can see it now.  I’m sitting on the toilet, reading my newspaper, maybe my business is taking a little long – I can call someone.

“Hello…  Barnsley?  Hey, it’s Arch.  I’m on the toilet.  It’s going a little slow in here, I’m going to need you to bring me a glass of that sparkling sauvignon blanc…  Hello?  Barnsley?”

I’d love to tell you where I’m staying but I have no freakin’ idea where that is.
Somewhere in Palm Springs.  Someone else paid for me to get here.  Someone else told the cab driver where to go. I think I’m somewhere near Palm Springs.  

It’s Peanut Butter Jelly Time
So hey,  you may have noticed that, by some strange coincidence, quite often, our musical guests involve a hot chick lead singer.  Well, for those few of you who are disturbed by this, it’s time that we disturb everyone else.  To start with, it’s amazing that I even gave this group a listen.  After all, my first “exposure” to them involved this disturbing picture of lead singer, Beth Ditto…

Ha!  Made you look.

I am aware that, by definition, she is stil a hot chick.
But I have a feeling that she’s moonlighting as a US Airways flight attendant.

But hey, if you’re able to get past all of this,
I think you might just enjoy Gossip, performing Perfect World…

And just for good measure, we need to run this photo of Ekatarina…

That’s it. We’re all done for today.
I gotta rock.  I gotta roll.

See ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya…

– Arch