Archie Kobain

Charlie Sheen, I don’t like you…

with your bitch-slap rappin’
and your cocaine tongue,
you get nothin’ done

Last Tuesday, Hollywood  was a-buzz with rockers as former Guns n’ Roses guitarist, Slash, was honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.  How cool is that?  I mean, Slash seems like a stand-up guy, his multiple musical projects are killer and it’s pretty awesome to see someone from the serious rock era, someone who has said – “I didn’t have a battle with drugs and alcohol, we had a great time”, being added to the list of “greats” along side the likes of Joanne Woodward and Burt Lancaster.  So, a big congratulations goes out to Slash both for his accomplishments and for a well-played hand in the entertainment industry game.

But you know how every one of us (mostly guys) have that friend?  You know the one.  The friend who makes everyone wonders why you are friends with that person.  No one just comes out and just asks you about him – which is good because, most likely, you don’t have a good explanation.  Well, Slash has Charlie Sheen.

No doubt, Sheen is a funny guy.  That is, as long as he isn’t writing his own material.  Well, a number of folks were there, on Hollywood Boulevard, in front of the Hard Rock Cafe, to “honor” Slash.  Steven Adler was there, Myles Kennedy was there and, of course, his old pal Charlie Sheen was there and, for some unknown reason, he was allowed to speak.  Sheen actually got semi-serious and said some nice things about his long time friend and neighbor.  But in his opening joke, he had to take a stab at Alx Rose, saying,  “It’s quite fitting that Slash is getting a star on the very street Axl Rose will one day be sleeping on.”

Seriously…

Look who is talking?

So, I have to say that the whole Slash & Axl thing is quite unfortunate.  These two guys were the front men of what was, potentially, the greatest rock band in history. Let’s face it, no one before them or since has been the whole package.  These guys were unique, a one of a kind, limited edition blend.  They had the talent, the look, the attitude, and reputation that made them the definition of Rock …and the music speaks for itself.

Deep down, I care don’t whether Axl and Slash ever speak to each other or not.  The only real tragedy here is the music.  You could say that, we the kids, really miss the days back when mom & dad where together and our family outings were the Superbowls of Rock.

Now, Axl seems to get criticized a lot just for being Axl.  He’s always been accused of interacting poorly with his fans, his girlfriends, band mates, record companies, the media – pretty much everyone.

Sound familiar, Sheen?

But none of this changes the facts.  It was Axl Rose who assembled the band in the first place and it was Axl’s song writing and unique vocals that put Guns n’ Roses on the map and on everyone’s radar.  Without that, Slash might not be getting that Hollywood star.  Hell, without Guns n’ Roses, I’m willing to bet that Slash would be not that well-known and certainly wouldn’t enjoy the popularity that he has today.

Under the circumstance, Sheen…  I think your joke was inappropriate and I bet Slash would have been classier than to slam Rose at this public forum and for the sake of a joke.  You are an idiot.  And the reality is that, other than Slash, maybe, letting you stay at his house, you (Charlie) are way more likely to be sleeping on that street someday.  Not that he’ll ever need to, as  I hear his Malibu home, where he’s lived for the past 20 years, is doing just fine – but Axl could always come stay at my house.

Maybe he can be my friend?  You know, the one who everyone wonders why I’m friends with him.  The BonnaBros would be like, “oh, no…  Archie is bringing Axl to Bonnaroo.”  But you know, I bet at the end of the day, he’s just another one of us.  I’m sure he does some whacky things now and then, we all do.  Nevertheless, we are brothers.  Brothers without a common parent. Brothers who’ve never met…but our mom’s name is Rock.

And you know, brothers don’t always get along, brothers don’t always agree on things but that doesn’t make us not brothers.  And when you pick on my family, Sheen, you pick on me.  So, don’t antagonize me…

You wanta antagonize me?
Antagonize me motherf****r
Get in the ring motherf****r
And I’ll kick your bitchy little ass
PUNK!

I could see hanging with Axl.  Maybe we can go down to Todos Santos, hang with my three dogs (Stones, Jobs & Big Cannon) and our three actual dogs (Tim, Taylor & Steve), cook a little fresh seafood that we got from back of some Mexican lady’s pickup truck.  And, as hard as this might be for me to do, I even promise not to listen to Gn’R too much.  Instead, we’ll just talk about fun stuff like fishing, golf, and hot chicks.

That’s all I’m sayin’, after all…

Nothing lasts forever
and we both know hearts can change

…which brings us to today’s musical guest, Sungha Jung.

So, I’ve read everything that all the haters have to say on You Tube and, you know who sucks?  You.  You suck because you’re mad that this Asian kid is a better guitarist than you’ll ever be, even if tomorrow morning you quit your job at the deli-mart, moved out of the trailer park and practiced playing guitar every day for the rest of your life.

Also, covers are not supposed to be exactly like the original.  That’s one of the things that I look forward to in my pathetic journey toward learning guitar…  I hope to someday play well enough to, not just play a song and have others recognize what I’m playing, but also to alter the songs and give them my own flavor. That would be Archie Flavored Guitar Songs – the name of my first album.

Well, as many of my followers from over the years have come to know, November Rain has always been a special favorite of mine and, possibly, my all time favorite Guns n’ Roses song.  Well, Sungha Jung‘s cover of November Rain is nothing short of a masterpiece.

Here it is…

I know.  I got a little teary-eyed there for a moment too.  I love this guy.  He’s a 16 years old South Korean and he’s awesome.  He has over 500 videos on YouTube.  Check him out.

Oh, by the way, Charlie…  Axl wrote that song.

Wanna see one of my favorite performances of November Rain by Gn’R?
Here’s the scenario.  It’s the 1992 MTV Video Music Awards.  This is back when MTV was a music channel, instead of a bullshit channel.   VH1 was called VH-1: Video Hits One and they only played the more sedate music.  MTV2 hadn’t even started broadcasting yet because, like I said, MTV was still a music channel.  Guns & Roses was at their high point and got to perform the closing number with Elton John joining Axl on piano.

You could say, they were kind of a big deal.  Enjoy…

Do I even need to say anything?
Yeah…  Probably not.  So, enough said.

Give it all and ask for no return…
This Tuesday wasn’t nearly as good of a day for Rock n’ Roll.  Jon Lord, founding member of Deep Purple, who also played with Whitesnake, died at the age of 71.  Maybe now the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame will consider inducting Deep Purple?  It’s getting a little like Nashville around here.

They’re playin’ his records all weekend
Praisin’ the life that he lived
Nashville is rough on the livin’
But she really speaks well of the dead.

We’ll miss you, brada.

I used to love her…
Also this Tuesday, there were a couple of albums released that I was looking forward to.  The first was Missy Higgins but, I’ve talked enough about her lately.  The other was Someday by Sussana Hoffs.

On Monday evening, Sussana staged a little pre-release interview and samples from her album at the Grammy Museum, finishing up her set with a cover, Rockpile’s Teacher, Teacher.  I’m pretty sure when she sang, “Teacher, Teacher, teach me love”, she was signing right to me.

So, is it just me or, at age 53, is she not still adorable?

I know, crappy BlackBerry photo.
Sorry.  Trust me…  Adorable.
And Suzi, I’m am going to play the sh*t out your new album.
It’s awesome. Thank you!

OK, guilty.  I didn’t “used to love her”, I still love her.
And guess what the name of the first song on her new CD is?

November Sun.  Coincidence?  I don’t think so…

Damn, we’re running long today…  Well – I was planning a whole big introduction to the whole Redhead of the Week thing.  Unfortunately, I’m exhausted from yelling at Charlie Sheen.

The good thing is that, my friend, the same one who came up with the idea of having the Redhead of the Week feature, asked my why I didn’t start it last week?  And I said, because we were featuring Supergirl.

Then he asked, so what was wrong with a Redhead Supergirl?

Redhead Supergirl

Did I not tell you that I have genius friends?

Well, there you have it.  I have to run.
Got lots of things to see and people to do.
Be here next week.  Be a lover – not a hater.

Peace

 – Arch