Archie Kobain

I sear I was born right in the doorway
I went out in the rain suddenly everything changed
they’re spreading blankets on the beach

How’s tricks, my bezzy mates?  Barnsley, here.

It pains me to report that Master Kobain has been frightfully preoccupied and unable to blog. Thereby, as opposed to further delaying our work, he has asked me to take a drag from the hubbly and attempt some of my own double Dutch.

As many of you may be aware, Sir Archibald will be hopping the pond next week to go swanning around Europe in a Gordon Bennett boozer. Lucky for us that, when he travels, he gets his twigs and berries in a knot and becomes quite inspired.  We should be expecting the most upon his return.

I’ve not much to discuss, actually, but I didn’t want to be made redundant or have my John Thomas severed. So here I am and the first order of business should be to address The Master’s stalking community.  We had many China plates writing in and requesting public appearance by Mr. Kobain.  I’ve advised against it, as I am sure these are simple ploys for an assassination attempt.  Nevertheless, a public appearance is in the works and I am happy to invite you to Washington DC this coming April to dress as American dollars and race down your nation’s capitol with Archie himself…

The event called the K Street 5K, will be held on April 13th and more information about this event can be found here…  https://represent.us/kstreet5k/

We hope to see you there and remember that not all fat men are Saint Nicholas.

What else shall we ramble on about?

Hmmm…

Well, Master K did say that if I was throwing a spanner in the works, I could always just go right to selecting the non-Ginger of the week.

At first I thought this a simple task, until I began trying to sort a single bird from this endless sea of hotties. It is not an easy task at all for an old scallywagger like me.  I mean, how is one to choose among…

Jennifer Ellison

Kayleigh Pearson

And for fuck’s sake, just look at the strawberry creams on…

Lucy Pinder

And in addition to this pressure, I am also supposed to select a musical guest.

I cannot comprehend how Master Kobain accomplishes this, sometimes week after week.
So take the piss out of me if you must, but I simply can’t do it. I won’t!

Lies, of course.  I will most certainly pick a musical guest.
I don’t even have to give it that much thought – Nika Roza Danilova.
Better known by her stage name: Zola Jesus    …god bless you.

Here is my lovely Nika, performing the song “Night”…

And Bob’s your uncle!
I think you would agree with me that, as the septics say, “my work here is done”.
And I think I’m off to Bedfordshire.  My most sincere gratitude for reading.

– Barnsley