Archie Kobain

That’s really about all the brain capacity that I have.
You think I have time for this silly blog thingy that no one reads?  I don’t think so. I swear…  Ever since my last birthday, my brain is only working at 50% capacity.  I am totally burned out.  I just figured that, if I didn’t do an entry, at least every other week, my one or two loyal readers would start calling area hospitals to see if I’d been brought in on a stretcher.  Well, I haven’t.  Of course, the day ain’t over yet, Curly.

Hello, I saw you, I know you, I knew you
I think I can remember your name

Brain farts of an old man…
To start with, I think I have to turn in my guy card.  I mean, there are some lines that a guy can never cross.  If they do, they cease to be in the club.  Am I right?

I’ve got this weakness for whiskey and women.
It’s somethin’ I just can’t control.
I’ve tried hard to shake it without any luck,
It keeps burnin’ deep in my soul.

Well, a few month ago I was in San Antonio, doing my thing.
Hanging out with some Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders…

Up on the stage.  Playing the star again…

And I get to talking to this cute, young punk, Know-It-All Hot Chick.  My definition of “Know-It-All”, of course, is anyone from California.

Well, anyway, we ran into each other a few times at the event. She was new, and so, I introduced her around a bit.  We even kept in touch a little afterwards…

Archie:  Sup?
Chick:  Nothin’.  Sup with you?
Archie:  Nothin’.  Sup with you?
Chick:  Nothin’. 

So now, I get to this meeting in Orlando last week, where many of the same people who were in San Antonio would be in attendance.  Any real guy, of course, would be on the lookout for the hot chick.  Not me.  Instead, I’m walking around in some kind of an altered state of consciousness and find myself on my hotel room floor, waiting for the elevator when a hot chick walks up to me and says, “hi”.  I say “hi” …and we start talking.  We get in the elevator.  We go down to the lobby.  Then, after a somewhat lengthy conversation, we’re getting ready to go in separate directions, and I decide to introduce myself…  “Heh baby,  I’m Archie.”  So I extended my arm for a handshake.

She smirks, shakes my hand and says, “Yes.  I’m <insert name here>.  I guess you don’t remember, we met in San Antonio.” 

Seriously…  50% brain capacity. 
True story.  I’ll turn in my guy card on Monday.

Spiritual Awakening…
OK…  Probably not.   But if you know me, I walk away unscathed.  Next thing you know, I’m at a nice restaurant with friends and, because I can’t help but strike up conversations with those in the service industry, I’m having an in-depth conversation with a waitress, who tells me that she just recently graduated from UCF (University of Central Florida)…  Do you know why that school was called that?  Because University of Florida Orlando would have made it UFO…and they would’ve had to move the school closer to the space center.  Talk amongst yourselves. 
…so I say, “hey… I went to UCF.” 

She says, “you did… when?”  …and so I told her.

Suddenly, the expression on her face changes and she begins to develop a mostly pale and slightly greenish hue, similar to any of those glow in the dark plastics toys that we had as kids.  I’m simultaneously wondering what ever happened to my glow in the dark Casper the Friendly Ghost piggy bank and contemplating  whether or not to call the paramedics for the waitress, when I notice a little blood returning to her face. 

Then she says to me, “that’s the year I was born”.

So I say, “I bet I’ve drank a lot more beer than you have.”

So, here’s an interesting guy…
Craig Miller.  This former CEO of Ruth’s Chris Steak House is running for US Senate as a “Conservative Republican”.    In fact, he’s probably overly conservative for me.  However, he’s got the right attitude…or, at least, he’s saying all the right things.  He seems to get the importance of cutting the national debt, keeping American dollars in America and getting back the dollars that we need to repatriate.  He’s putting the right issues first.  And he’s promising that, if elected, he will be in office no more than two terms.  In fact, he says that getting re-elected will never be a priority of his and, therefore, he will be unaffected by the lobbyist dollars.  Hmmm…  That’s hard to believe.

Craig Miller, Innocent By-Stander, Archie

It’s too bad that along with the reasonable, he states on his website that he expects to “fight for the unborn” and “work to preserve traditional marriage as being between one man and one woman”.  This is the problem with the conservatives.  The country is having heart failure and they still want to make sure we’re trimming the toe nails.  The unborn and the definition of marriage are toe nails, Craig.  Stop worrying about these things.  Stop trying to tell others how they should run their lives.  Religion should be personal.  Keep your religious beliefs to yourself.  Do you not believe in Freedom of Religion?  Well, if someone else’s religion says they can have same sex marriages, you should respect that.  Yes/no?  Leave other people’s personal freedoms the F*&# alone.  This gets me boiling mad, Craig.  Boiling mad!

Aside from this, I liked the guy.  Grew up in Florida, served in Vietnam, then made his way up through the ranks of the restaurant business, having started as a dishwasher at Red Lobster during his junior high school years.  So, I’m pretty sure he’d be OK in the senate, working for minimum wage, plus tips, if he does a good job.  Good idea?  I know.

 Here I sit in prison, guilty of a crime.
Yes it’s true I killed a man, but it was justified.
Yes, he was a friend of mine, he came into my home.
Made off with my woman, left me here alone.

Cajun Addiction…
Barnsley!  We’re going to need a case of Abita Amber for this next part.

About a week ago, a friend of mine put me onto Cowboy Mouth.  I can’t believe I’d never listened to them before.  Quite honestly, similar to a train wreck, I can’t seem to turn away.  I’ve been listening to them every day now for over a week.  I’m almost afraid to stop.

Have you heard these guys?  They  are kind of a Southern Rock, Cajun, Party Band.  I can’t imagine ever listening to them not-live.  After the first three days of listening to them, I was sure that they were going to be the musical guest on an upcoming show.  As it turns out, they are just the warm up act.  But that’s OK.  Give them a listen.  Here’s Cowboy Mouth with Take Me Back to New Orleans.

I love these guys.  Also – great song.
And that’s one of their more serious songs.

Blow’em Away, Steve…
I know.  I don’t usually have two musical guests on the same day but I’m making an exception.  I have to say that I was a bit blown away by this.  Traditionally, I haven’t been a huge Taylor Swift fan.  I mean, she is Taylor Swift… She’s great, and an amazing song writer with phenomenally clever lyrics.  I’m just not a big fan of Modern Poppy Country Music.  Give me some Hank Jr., Bobby Bare or David Allan Coe and we’re good but, again, the new stuff just doesn’t do it for me. It feels too commercialized.

As you all know, however, I am a big fan of the American female folks singer genre.  So, a few nights ago, I’m walking aimlessly around my house while the television was on, for no apparent reason, and suddenly I was drawn in to this amazing  peformance. 

Somehow, Swift managed convert the stage of this year’s CMA awards into an intimate living room setting, complete with a cozy couch and dim lighting, and invited us over, for was seemed like a private concert with her.  If you missed it the first time, sit back and enjoy the song “Ours” by Taylor Swift.

Ugh…  It’s excellent every time.  Play it again.
No, seriously.  Play it again.

Well, at least she’s 21 now and she can enjoy an Abita Amber with us.  Where’s that Barnsley?  Barnsley!  Oh, holy crap.  Barnsley, stop crying and bring Taylor one of those cold ones.

And that my friends, is way more than all the time that I had for today.
Hopefully, I’ll be back next week or the week after that or the week after that.

Be good my children.

– Arch