Archie Kobain

Barnsley…  Get the Kodak PictureDisc down to Walgreen’s.
I want to get a lot photos into this week’s show…

Kodak PictureDisc

I know it’s probably hard to tell whether or not I like Continental Airlines, which, of course, is no longer Continental Airlines.  Now you just get the Continental logo with United painted on the side of the plane. 

Conti-nited Airlines

Hopefully that goes well and, truth be told, I love(d) Continental.  This is the airline that once upon a time was the Yugo of airlines, the worst of the worst.  Then, over a number of years, they really got their act together and even today, I continue to have good experiences, time after time.

I mention this because, if you’re going to Cabo San Lucas, I have to recommend that you strictly follow this methodology… 

• A) Book your flight on Continental Airlines, which will force you to go through Houston. 
• B) Book an early flight, you want to be in Houston by about 7:30am.
• C) Hope that your connection takes you past the B terminal. 
• D)  Get to Continental’s B-Terminal President’s Club and find bartender Melissa Loo… 

Melissa Loo's Facebook Picture

• D)  Ask for her signature Wasabi-Spicy Bloody Mary.  Tell her Archie sent you. 
• E)  When it’s time to head for the plane, ask her to make you one more.  When no one is looking, go get yourself one of the “to go” coffee cups, pour your Bloody Mary into it and head for your gate.

Now you’re properly on your way to Cabo.

Here’s what you don’t want to do…  On my flight to Cabo, there were a couple of guys sitting across the aisle from me who never stopped drinking.  They were at the President’s Club, partaking in whatever Ms. Loo was pouring.  Then, once they were on the plane, they ordered double vodkas… Twice!  It was only like a two and a half hour flight but they were pounding the vodkas.  By the time we got to Cabo, they were hootin’ and hollerin’.  They were telling every man who was traveling with a woman how beautiful his female companion was…  Finally, as we were getting off the plane, they were falling over, laughing, very loudly talking about passing gas, and acting like drunk and stupid Americans …because that’s what they were. 

So, bad things happen in almost every major city in the world…and we’ve all heard about the things that have been going on in Mexico in recent years.  Well, no matter how overly-hyped those reports are by the American media, the reality is that bad things do go on in parts of Mexico and Americans, in general, don’t want to go around acting like easy targets.  Granted, Baja California Sur, the Mexican state where Cabo San Lucas is located, is probably one of the safest places in all of Mexico.  …but these two guys were just being complete idiots and attracting undue attention to themselves.  I actually thought about following them, “rolling” them, and robbing them myself. 

Fortunately, I had better things to do…

Oh…. forgettin’s cheap in Mexico
She’ll be there waiting and she won’t say no
Tequila loves me even if you don’t

But Cabo was just our landing site.
We were off to Todos Santos, Pueblo Magico  (Magic City).

Todos Santos

“Todos”, as we, the locals, call it, will be about 45 minutes North of Cabo San Lucas once the road is finished and about an hour and thirty minutes from the airport, which is really in San Jose del Cabo.  Right now, your results may vary on how long it takes to get there.  It’ll depend on how well you handle bumps and how bad you’re willing to beat up your rental car.  They say the road will be finished by this time next year, in time for the 2012 G-20 Mexico Summit. 

As previously discussed, we were staying at an awesome beach property, just a few miles South of Todos called Osprey San Pedrito.

On our first day there, we headed into town in search of supplies. In Cabo we had seen a Super Wal-mart, Sam’s Club, Costco, Home Depot, and several impressive supermarkets.  Todos Santos is not Cabo. It’s not even close. Todos Santos is indeed the sleepy little Mexican beach town that we had been promised.

We walked around one market several times and never found anything that we wanted to buy, other than tequila. Everyone sells tequila. Even the gift shops sell tequila. It’s quite handy.

Silver Mine

I don’t recall seeing a sign on this gift shop.  It was either Silver Maind (per their business card) or Silver Mine (per my credit card receipt).  On our first day there, we meet a cool guy named Guillermo (Billy The Kid) who seemed to be the proprietor. We spent a pile of money at this store on tequila, damiana liqueur, and miscellaneous other things.  We went back on day two and met Alfredo, who looks a helluva lot like actor Guillermo Diaz.  They even sound alike… 

Alfredo (left) - Guillermo Diaz (right)

Alfredo was a cool guy too. I determined that Guillermo was the CEO and Alfredo was his Vice President of Sales. If you visit Todos Santos, you have to look these guys up.  Tell’em Archie & Stonsey sent you…just don’t pay the first price they quote you.  Aim low.  There are deals to be had.

Oh, by the way, here’s my entire Baja-Bro crew, commandeering the gift shop from Alfredo and pouring ourselves some tasty samplers.

Stonsey, Archie, Jobs, Big Cannon

If you don’t do anything else in Todos Santos, you gotta check out Hotel California…

Hotel California - Courtyard

Hotel California - Properly Labelled Restrooms

Now, I don’t know if I’ve talked about this before.  I don’t usually like to discuss personal issues publicly, on the Internet, but…this might require an intervention sooner or later, so we should probably start discussing it openly.  I think my friend, Stonsey, is developing a Planking problem.

Are you familiar with Planking?  Look it up.
The idea is that you lay somewhere, face down and then stiffen your body… Like a plank.  Apparently, some crazy Australians or New Zelanders came up with this.  People have even been accidentally killed while planking in poorly chosen locations, like tall buildings.  Here are a few plankers…

Of course, Stonsey couldn’t resist planking the balcony above the HC sign…

Stonsey – He’s a Planker!

I said planker, not wanker.

One day, we had breakfast at Baja Boar.

The only way that I could describe this “restaurant” in terms for the average Gringo to understand is…  “not really a restaurant”.  It’s more like some sticks holding up a roof and underneath, they cook stuff for you.   To start with, it’s on a dirt road near the beach but not near any significant traffic whatsoever.  I’m fairly sure that on the day the four of us went there for breakfast, they sold not more than about four breakfast burritos.  But they were some happy katz!

Baja Boar, by the way, is right next to Osprey San Pedrito at Dr. Robert’s Ocean Oasis.

Dr. Robert's Ocean Oasis

Beers with Breakfast

The reason why breakfast took a while was because, before they made our breakfast burritos, they had to make the tortillas. Luckily, the chorizo that was going into the burritos was already made…and YES, they make that themselves too.   The whole thing was awesome.  I loved it.  My kind of place.

But I have to say, in as much as I loved spending time in and around Todos Santos and I plan to return there soon and often, and I want to look into owning property there…  The coolest thing about staying at Osprey San Pedrito was the three dogs.

From the moment we got there, three dogs came to greet us. These were the coolest dogs that you could possibly imagine.  They were definitely Baja Dogs. They lived on the beach…went wherever they wanted, whenever they wanted. They never tried to enter our house, they were outside dogs.  When the sun got very hot, they knew where to find shade. If we were on the porch drinking beers, they came and hung out with us.

We didn’t know their names, so we named them Tim, Taylor & Steve…

Tim, Taylor and Steve

A walk on the beach...

Headed Home

If we went for a walk on the beach, they went for a walk on the beach. If we headed home, they headed home.  At night, if anything moved, anywhere in the area, they let us know…  They were our watchdogs, they were part of the security systems, they were just the coolest freakin’ dogs… ever.

 

Tim, Steve, Taylor & Archie

At the end of the day, I think I learned more Tim, Taylor & Steve than I have from anyone else in a long time. In a way, they reminded me of the guy I met in Guatemala last year who told me about what a great life he had because at least once a week, someone on his block would come up with a chicken to cook, and everyone was invited over.

The reality is that, when you don’t know better, you really don’t need much to be happy. Then I was reminded that “knowing better” isn’t always an advantage. I also realized that I could probably spend an indefinite period of time hanging out on the beach and listening to the constant roar of the Pacific Ocean.

Speaking of not knowing any better, you might wonder how safe it was around Todos Santos?  All I can say is that I never felt unsafe, not even a little bit, not even once.  I guess my Baja-Bros also felt reasonably safe since we never locked the doors on our beach house.  It was open when we got there and we left it unlocked whenever we went out, and we left it unlocked whenever we went to sleep.  Closing the doors and windows would have been unacceptable, we needed to hear the waves crashing outside.  I’d be back there in a minute.

I look forward to seeing Todos again at sunrise…

San Pedrito Beach at Sunrise

And I look forward to seeing another Tequila Sunset…

Sunset in Todos Santos

The bottom line is, I think I’m getting really close to trading in the BMW for an old  Baja Buggy, finding a piece of paradise on a beach somewhere where no one knows mi nombre, and at the risk of littering our oceans, toss my BlackBerry just as far out into the Pacific as I can…

Ah!  I feel better already.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Q:  What are you thinking about there Stonsey?
A:  I think we need to return to Todos Santos soon.

Word!

That’s it for today.
I hope you’ve enjoyed the photos.
Make plans to visit me in Mexico, if you can find me.

 -Arch