Archie Kobain

Remember…  I promised. No politics this week.

It was the kind of party that you hope never ends
The lucky party boy surrounded by his friends
And they were all in pointed hats, caught in a rebel birthday shout
And he was at the candles with his mom there to help him out

Barnsley!  [He shouts off stage.]  We’re having a party today.
We’re going to to need vodka, beer and wine.  Pretend the Stones are in town.
And I don’t mean Stonse, I mean The Stones…but it’s better than the Stones.
We’re going to need my collector’s edition coffin of Black Death Vodka.

Yes.  I actually own one of these.  This isn’t just alcohol enthusiast propaganda and vintage photographs.  I wonder if the vodka is still good?  I guess it’s just vodka.  What could go wrong?

Does anyone remember Black Death Vodka?  Many, many moons ago, they paid Slash a pile of money to be their spokesperson and then they disappeared.

There was even a rumor that they were being sued by a rights group (or somebody) claiming that the name and logo was insensitive to victims of the bubonic plague.

Seriously?  Wasn’t that in the 1300’s?  Who could possibly care 700 years later? 

“Hey man…  Are you talking about my great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, grand mamma?  I’ma kick yo ass.”

Besides, did they have top hats back then?  Maybe we’re celebrating our heritage?  Like…  My ancestors came from Europe and yet I’m here.  My family survived Black Death …and now we drink it ….for breakfast. 

Anyway, I believe the company went out of business  …but I think it’s time for a comeback.  Everything from the 80’s is making a comeback.  Let’s face, things from the 80’s are now truly part of the classics.  And not just because you’ll find the music on VH1 Classics, as sad as that is, on its own.  Let’s face it, if you meet a hot chick these days, and she tells you that she’s into the classics, she’s probably including Bach, Beethoven, The Pet Shop Boys, etc.

But none of this has anything to do with, well… anything.
For a while now, I’ve been wanting to discuss The Relativity of Money.
I really thought today would be the day.  Problem is, I keep getting side-tracked.

Barnsley!  I’m going to need a little club soda and a splash of cranberry for my Black Death.
Barnsley?   [Looks around.]

Each time I start writing about The Relativity of Money, I get off on these tangents that go every which way and it ends up being a rant with absolutely no point…  You’re probably thinking that everything I write followsw this pattern, so why should this be any different.  Touche’.

So maybe, I’ll just ramble on a little bit and call it Part I.  Some day, I’ll ramble on some more and call it Part II, and so on, and so on… maybe. We’ll see.

Elvira: “Can’t you stop talking about money? It’s boring, Tony.”
Tony: “Where is this coming from, man? Boring? What’s boring?”
Elvira: “You’re boring.”
Tony: “Oh.”

Before we hit it, however, we need to bring out this week’s musical guest.  The man, the legend, Saul Hudson, himself – Slash with Myles Kennedy on vocals on this awesome acoustic rendition of Sweet Child O’ Mine. 

So, chug the last of your pink vodka drink.  Go get yourself a beer.
I recommend a frosty cold Stella…

…and just pay attention to Slash’s guitar work, particularly during the 4th minute of the song. You gotta love this guy…

Just last month, Slash and wife, Perla, celebrated 10 years of marriage by traveling to Spain and renewing their vows with the help of their two Slashettes, sons, London Emilio and Cash Anthony.  London gave away trhe bride and Cash was the best man. Here’s the happy family now…

Do we still have to talk about money?
I don’t think so.  That’ll wait until (at least) next time.  ‘Cause, guess what?
I met a celebrity yesterday.  An even a bigger celebrity than myself.
I know.  Not very difficult to accomplish…

But hey, being the “righteous dude” that I am, I got to attend a private dinner at the Clearwater Marine Aquarium last night and I got to meet Winter…

Winter is the dolphin, turned movie star, who lost its tail and will now get to tell it’s Hollywood version tail tale in the movie Dolphin Tale, which opens today at a theatre near you, starring Morgan Freeman and Ashley Judd…

Oh, by the way, Ash…  Winter said to say, “hi”…  Call me. We’ll do lunch.   😉

Obviously, with all these dolphins and Judds around. I can’t concentrate.
So…go see the movie, take your kids, take your wife.  (That should be a song.)  I have a feeling the Clearwater Marine Aquarium is going to make a few dollars along the way.

That doesn’t constitute talking about money, does it?

You see, the problem is that any conversation that we have about money could easily start now and years after the Earth has slammed into The Sun, we’d still be discussing with no end in sight. I definitely don’t have that kind of brain power today.  So, I apologize for bring it up, once again, without following through.  I know.  I’m such a tease.  But I’ll leave you with this and we’ll pick up on it next time…  ready?

“Is $3000 a lot of money?”

Talk among yourselves.  🙂

Me?  I’m out of time.  Gotta run.
I have a long way to go and a short time to get there. 

Until next time, my friends.

 – Arch